


Sociopath: A John and Sherlock Ficlet

by TheBananasaurus



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Demisexial John, Ficlet, Greyexual Sherlock, I SEEK TO DESTROY YOUR FEELS, Mini-Fic, POV Sherlock Holmes, Unrequited Love, neurodivergent sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 22:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10886235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBananasaurus/pseuds/TheBananasaurus
Summary: It's all finally come to a head, and John can no longer take lying by omission. It's all come spilling out - his feelings, his desires... and now Sherlock can't help but wonder what in the world all this means, in addition to how those feelings make HIM feel.He's supposed to be a sociopath - high-functioning or no, this is all out of his realm of knowledge.It's... a mess.





	Sociopath: A John and Sherlock Ficlet

The way John held his body - rigid, angled away from him, eyes downcast and jaw gritted - it gave Sherlock an entirely unpleasant, even _painful_ feeling in his stomach.  What was this? Not empathy, that was certain. He found that emotion impossible and useless. This, however… Was this… Guilt, perhaps?  Couldn't be. He'd not even done anything wrong, and he hadn't felt guilt since childhood.

“Look, Sherlock,” muttered John, prizing Sherlock from his thoughts to blink owlishly at the tensed side of his friends face.

“I get it. I didn't expect you to feel the same way, I just thought you should… thought you should know I'm… that I…”

_Say it, John. ‘I’m in love with you.’ Please._

He wanted to hear it. _Needed_ to… But he couldn't for the life of him fathom why.

“John,” began Sherlock, his voice sounding cold and detached even to his own ears. One of his hands lifted half-way as if to reach out, but John’s biting tone stopped him.

**_“Don't._ ** Anything you say will just make it worse. I'll be alright. I can… move past this. I've done it with worse.”

At this, Sherlock let his arm lower back slowly and a frown ticked the edges of his lips down.

Yes, John had lost so much more than Sherlock. War, watching people he cared about die before him. And yet here he was, strong and stalwart and by Sherlock’s side.

Sherlock hasn't ever lost anyone aside from Redbeard insofar as to something they could not feasibly come back from. He could never understand the heartache John was feeling… And yet, the aggravating churning, sick feeling in his stomach continued gnawing at his concentration.

“I hope this doesn't change things. Between us, I mean. The cases. Our… Friendship,” John said softly, finally meeting Sherlock’s eyes on the final, meaningful word.

Sherlock smiled, though it felt contrived. “Of course not, John. How could I go on without my blogger?”

_Oh, John. You're so much more than that. Why can't I just--?_

“Heh,” chuckled John mirthlessly, as an obviously forced smirk deepened the creases astride his mouth. “Yeah.”

And there they stood - two friends but a foot apart in distance, yet with a kilometre-tall wall between them.


End file.
